Are you okay?

This was the question that Kevin Hines so desperately wanted to hear from a passerby on the Golden Gate Bridge before he listened to the voice, ‘Jump Now!’ Over the four foot railing, one second of free fall, and into the chilly waters of the bay.

Kevin Hines, a man who has bi-polar depression, and suicidal thoughts almost every day, was nineteen years old that day on the bridge. He’s the central figure in a new documentary, ‘Suicide: The Ripple Effect’, that Marcia and I viewed in Ann Arbor last week.

The opening scenes takes us out on a boat, under the bridge, with Kevin and the now-retired Coast Guard crew member that had pulled Kevin from the waters and onto the motor lifeboat.

This is the beginning of the ripple effect, the toll carried by the ‘Coastie’ serving at Coast Guard Station Golden Gate, who recovered 57 bodies and rescued one in his tour of duty. Kevin’s father, who is prepared, every time his phone rings, to this day, for the news that Kevin has died by suicide.

It sets off a chain reaction in my mind as I think of my friends: the wife who lost her husband, the son who cleaned up the mess his father left in the living room, the mother who will have perpetual grief from her daughter’s death. And the friend with a plan, but got sick instead. The friend whose anxiety crossing highway bridges, because of the thoughts, became my anxiety: Could I get there in time?
And yes, I think of those times where I…

The ripple effect. One person’s actions leading to another’s. Throughout the documentary, we also see the crisis counselor, the survivor, the parent whose work of helping one more person to stay, ripples outward.

It’s a lot to ask, really, wanting a passerby to ask, ‘Are you okay?’ Too much to ask? But for friends, not that much. And for yourself, ask your self, ‘Am I okay?’ Should the answer be something other than ‘Yes’ – there’s help: 1-800-273-8255 1-800-273-TALK. It’s okay to call anytime.

Every day, as part of my self-care, I ask myself: What am I feeling? Am I okay?

And I’ll ask you: Are you okay?