Workplaces

The places that I’ve worked have been on my mind for about the last three months. Sometimes it’s been in the form on nightmares (I suspect everyone has those kind of dreams). No place that I’ve worked has been ideally suited to me. Or perhaps, it’s me that hasn’t been suited to the workplace. I pick up quickly on the people at work I cannot trust, those that are gossips, those that I can’t be authentic with, or the deceitful.

I had an experience a few months back where I talked to two individuals with polar opposite views about how things were in their workplace. One said it was the best ever, the other the worst ever. How could their experiences been so different? They were different people, of course. Differing amounts of control over their workday, different genders, different departments, different responsibilities. And different experiences with the exact same person.

It got me thinking about my experiences in the workplace. Perhaps I behave differently with different people, treat them differently because of previous experiences with them. I probably should just strike the word ‘perhaps’, as I know I do. My coworkers make it into my dreams, and my therapy sessions.

My therapist and I have talked a lot recently about why I stayed for as long as I did after I became disillusioned. I think I had unrealistic expectations of my coworkers. I could have just lowered that bar to ‘I have a job – I get paid – that’s all that matters’. But then there were those that met my high expectations, and I hope that I met theirs of me. They were the ones that I could be authentically me, that cared about me, and I cared about them. I think part of my reasoning was that I couldn’t ‘abandon’ them.

A local theatre company recently had a play about workplace violence. Yes, there were polar opposite views of the workplace. Yes, there were toxic workers portrayed. Act one ended in a mass shooting.

While I never experienced workplace violence such as that, to be truly honest with you, there were some coworkers that I had ‘unkind’ thoughts about.

I have been thinking about those people that made it, at least, bearable, up to really good. Some of them read my blog. To them, I want you to truly know that you made a difference, that I still think about you, and appreciate you. It was you that were honest, that kept confidences, that I could be authentic with. Thank you. Let’s keep in touch.