Anxiety

My readers will remember my surprise weight loss and my anxiety about getting the test results back. I got some of the blood work results, just what was outside of parameters. (I am hopeful to get the full results to how the other things fit together with previous tests over the years) My fasting glucose was was higher than it’s been – 115, so my doctor and I will decide what we can do to lower that. My Vitamin D level was high as well – should be since I’ve been on a large dose every day for nine months. Cutting back on the supplement will solve that issue.

All in all, good news.

But what I am mainly feeling anxious about is going to Tennessee today to work with the Morgan-Scott Project. It’s a little unreasonable to feel anxious, but nevertheless I feel it. I was there with a group from my church, Edgewood United Church. it was hot, as it often is, and we had opted to stay in a house that was loaned to us and had air conditioning. Unfortunately, there was a small roof leak that made a corner of our bedroom wet, and there was mold in the air conditioning ducts. That combined with the previous week’s work in a house where the floor joists had rotted into the ground had set me up. It set me up for a nighttime asthma attack that had me questioning if I was going to be able to breathe another breath.

Anxious is something I do really well. I guess that’s something for me to work on. Cognitively, I know I’m staying in a different place, and I’ve got a rescue inhaler, so there will be no problem in Tennessee.

Same with my health, rationally I know that I am in good health and these are minor bumps compared to what I’ve already faced in life, but still…. and that’s the time for closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. And another. And another.

I know that the anxiety isn’t helpful, and most, sometimes, occasionally, I can let it go. Things usually turn out the way they are going to turn out without my fretting.

Time for another deep breath.