Think back to the last time you introduced yourself to a new person.
What did you say?
What was the first thing you said? Likely, it was your name, how you wished to be addressed. And then what? At church, it’s usually my pronouns. In other settings, among males, it’s occupation, or former occupation. And then what? Location, where you live. And then what?
Often from there, it’s family structure: married or not, children or not, and so on.
When do you get into the real stuff? The really real stuff. The times you succeeded, or the times you failed? The experiences that have shaped your life. The people that you’ve loved and lost, the people that passed through your life and changed you for good.
The intersectionality of all of the ‘yous’ that you are, each part identifies and differentiates. Those parts you claim, and those parts that others chose to call you.
What more do I say?
Do I mention that… …that dark shadow that sometimes overwhelms me.
Do I mention that… …at times, I have simply wanted to be done with life.
Do I mention that… …death doesn’t scare me, because I’ve seen worse.
Do I mention that… …I think there are some things beyond our comprehension, and I don’t think it’s the common definition of God.
Do I mention that…
Do I mention that…
Do I mention that…
Feather in the Wilderness 
“Hi, how’re you doing today?” “Oh fine, you? “Fine.”
Right.
Tough to know how to deal with it in the intro but having once said, “Not so good. My — fill in the blank” — is interesting. Sometimes it opens up great conversations, sometimes, “Oh, I’m so sorry” and out of there like a shot. Who can say but it’s a wonderful subject to contemplate.
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A friend in San Francisco started asking new people, “What do you do that’s awesome?” There are some aspects of that I really like – the invitation for the positive and the non-work and what makes you happy. But it also implies that those are the only things worth talking about, that no one has anything negative going on (or at least doesn’t want to talk about it). It also sorta has the edge of “can you surprise me?” which sets up a power dynamic in the conversation immediately. But there’s definitely a kernel of a good idea in there.
On the other hand, in England the common greeting is “you alright?” Like in the US, the standard answer is always blandly positive. I did manage to find a group of really wonderful people who asked it both reflexively and genuinely – it was always accompanied by a hug (very unusual there), and sometimes there was just a long pause in which nothing needed to be said. And that was ok too. We all understood what that meant, and made sure to take extra care of those people that day. Or there would be an honest answer of “I’m really struggling today.”
It was amazing to be that vulnerable on a daily basis. It’s a hard thing to do.
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