The Questions of Therapy

I’ve been thinking about the questions of therapy. Not the plaintive ‘How am I going to make it through this alive?’ questions, but the repetitive check-in questions that really need to be asked at every session. I am going to share them with you, because I think they should just be part of the practice of being human, and honestly answered may do much to help us get through another week.

‘How has your mood been lately?’ This is like taking your temperature, or the barometric pressure. Day by day, over a week’s time, and we’re in touch with the highs and lows of our mood, and some of the events or feelings that can push our mood up or down.

‘How have you been sleeping?’ Sleep is so important. I know that when I’m not sleeping well, my mood sinks. And when my mood sinks, I don’t sleep well. It’s a good measure of anxiety. I prefer uninterrupted sleep, but that is not often possible living in an urban environment. Noise will wake me. It’s supposed to, by design. A survival mechanism, certainly, but triggered too often and your peaceful night’s sleep is wrecked. I’m hearing the words of a friend right now, ’Earplugs,’ she’d say.

‘How are your family members?’ The health of your people, and that includes the four-legged family members, affect your mood.

We all have our worries. Often, work or money, or lack thereof, has a huge effect on our mental health. Relationships, struggles with a balance of quiet, alone time and community time, the relentless darkness and cold of a Michigan winter. Feel free to add whatever else distresses you here, and you have a pretty good picture of how worries stack up.

Rarely in therapy do we talk of the current events, although they certainly have an effect. The destabilizer-in-chief is not good for my mental health, and so I have had to pull the plug on paying attention more than a handful of minutes per day. There are others that can stay involved and stay healthy. It won’t be me right now.

And that’s okay because that’s self-care. Intentionally not doing the things that are unhealthy, and doing the things that are healthy. My unhealthy things have been pushing myself to do more, getting caught up in negative emotions, and putting my needs last. My healthy things are walking and biking, being in nature, sailing, writing, and adding the things that bring me joy. 2019 will see me at more live music events because for too long I’ve done without that.

Stay warm, folks – we in the mid-west are in for it.